Children have active imaginations. Although this can be a gift under usual circumstances, I was unfortunate enough to have dreams that broke all barriers of imaginative understanding. And that has not changed as I moved into adulthood. As a child of 10 or 12, I've experienced somnambulism and heard stories of how my father stopped me from walking out the door. Those tales that I heard the next morning, and had no recollection of, petrified me so much, that I think I scared myself out of sleep-walking. However, talking in my sleep was harmless enough, and I still do it once in a while. My brother would entertain himself by asking me questions while I was sleep-talking and would amuse the entire family with the story the next day. But something that others rarely heard about was the real-ness of my dreams (or nightmares). I was capable of seeing strange, almost life-like, and utterly scary dreams. My dreams didn't always have a connection to scary movies that I saw, or what I had read. Sometimes they'd come from nowhere and those would be more frightening, because I couldn't calm myself with a plausible explanation.

My dreams today don't scare me as much as they did when I was a child. But they do leave me morose and thoughtful. One weird quality I had inherited from my mother is that something I see in a dream the previous night, finds a physical representation in something I see or experience the next day. It's hard to explain, but when it happens, it's quite eerie. I've always had dreams of an apocalypse, showing clearly my fear of the end of the world. These dreams are so creative! I also dream of running away from someone. I always dream of falling from heights, and falling down stairs.

I recently read of sleep paralysis and it shook me to the core. I hoped that I never experienced it, and I have not; but I've experienced something quite similar to it. This happens usually when I take an afternoon nap. I dream that I have woken up, and I'm walking around the house, but my movements are restricted, like I'm bound in a cocoon. I can't see or hear properly, and I realize I am dreaming. I am back in bed, and I wake up again, and the same procedure repeats itself. What is most disturbing about this, is that I am aware of the fact that I am dreaming, and I can't get myself out of it. I just have to wait for the sleep to go away and wake up for real.

Not always are my dreams so haunting. They're quite a form of entertainment, giving me a chuckle in the morning and making me wonder how I could ever imagine such a ridiculous thing! Do you dream, too?

Feeling: dreamy
Listening to: Pink Moon - Nick Drake

For as long as I can remember, I've harbored an undying love for writing instruments. While in school, I could not wait for high school, so that we could start using ink pens. When we were allowed to use those, I yearned to write with pencils. I loved everything about writing - the filling of pens with ink, the leaking of pens, the sharpening of pencils. I loved to go shopping for pens and pencils. When I came to the US from India, I carried a box-full of pencils and pens, some that had a lot of emotional value attached to them. But over the years, using pens and pencils has become a rarity. I've hardly had the opportunity to buy a pen. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever bought a pen from a store. Maybe pencil and leads, but never a pen. Until yesterday. Imagine my thrill when I saw this Parker Jotter, which was a throwback to the old-time pens of yester-years. My father would always have one tucked in his shirt pocket, and my brother had some in his pencil-box, which I would steal when he wasn't around. Now that I have this pen, I think I'll be making notes quite often. At least till the novelty wears out.



( One more behind the cut )

Feeling: ecstatic
Listening to: Pitter-patter of rain

When I first read this post about movie clichés, my mind kept going back to the clichés we so often see in Hindi movies. So I decided to make a list. Most of these are classic and we don’t see them anymore. But go through the list anyway and see if you find them familiar as well.

1. The "Late Police" Rule: I thought I'd start with the most obvious cliché of them all; one that has been used shamelessly in movies. The hero and his arch nemesis have a fight where the hero, bloodied and tired, finally manages to defeat all of the villain’s posse and has the villain’s head under the heel of his shoe. Our hero is tempted to shoot the bad guy, but lo and behold, we hear sirens, and just when needed the least, the police have arrived, to take matters in the hands of law.

2. The "Main Tumhare Bacche Ki Maa Banne Vaali Hun" Rule: While we're on the subject of villains, let's talk about the oft-repeated dialog in Hindi movies, i.e. "Main tumhare bacche ki maa banne vaali hun"! Although this dialog is uttered under happy circumstances too, it is most famously uttered by the "vamp," or the bad guy's girlfriend. Somewhere towards the end of the movie, the girlfriend and the bad guy are seen sharing a tender moment, forcing us to see the villain in a good light for a millisecond. Not so fast, though! The girlfriend has made the same mistake. She believes her man isn't as callous after all, and gives him the news of her pregnancy. Tan ta dan! The villain’s mood changes. He suggests an abortion, and she is enraged. She dumps him, and finds her way to the hero, to give him some key information about the villain’s whereabouts.

3. The "Rain is Sexy" Rule: Frolicking around trees and flowers that kiss, the young hero and heroine are innocent and pure. Suddenly there's a crack of thunder and it begins to pour. The couple is drenched and has to find refuge in a conveniently located barn. The two try to dry themselves when there's another crack of thunder and the petrified girl jumps into the guy's arms. They take a good look at each other and realize that rain makes them very sexy. Their heads comes close and the image blurs or the camera pans to a dripping branch in the rain.

4. The "Broken Button/Forgotten Towel" Rule: The couple is now probably married and finds it hard to share an in-the-rain moment like their days of youth. So to initiate moments of intimacy the husband’s shirt loses a button. He's in a hurry and can't take his shirt off, so his wife has to sew it while standing close to him, as he looks down at her adoringly. He tries to hug her, but she frees herself, blushes and goes back to her wifely duties. The husband also often forgets his towel while he's in the shower and when his wife fetches it for him, he pulls her into the shower along with the towel. Very smart!

5. The "Pooja Thaali" Rule: If an important female character returns home from the temple, she will carry a "pooja thaali" which must eventually be dropped. She is high-spirited, blissfully unaware of the impending doom waiting for her when she returns. The moment she walks in, bad news is awaiting her. She hears/sees it and drops the "pooja thaali," usually in slow motion, and the audience gets a clear view of the contents of the thaali hitting the floor and flying back into air.

6. The "Gajar ka Halwa" Rule: Our hero returns home from somewhere - college, work, army posting. His mother hasn't seen him for a long time. She is usually a widow who wears pristine white sarees and has salt-and-pepper hair. She is thrilled to see him back. She coddles him. He basks in her attention. But soon enough, he has to up and leave, to see his friends or his girl. His mother is miffed. She reminds him that she's made his favorite "gajar ka halwa." The hero is touched. He quickly eats some and runs out, while his mother looks on adoringly.

7. The "Rape of the Sister" Rule: This hero also has a young, overly bubbly and cute sister. Her only role is to be enticing enough to be raped by a gang of good-for-nothing men. The hero, who has until now, maintained a straight life is thrown over the edge and becomes the angry, young man and goes on a bad-man killing spree.

8. The "Morally Rich Poor" Rule: Poor people in Hindi movies are supposed to be rich in their morals. All rich people are morally corrupt. Poor people will earn their living the right way, and demand respect. Dare you throw their wages at them! You must hand it to them with utmost deference. Every so often, the same poor people find richness and leave behind their morals. They forget their hard-working mother, or their love that lives in the poor neighborhoods, when they become rich.

9. The "Prostitute With  a Heart of Gold" Rule: The hero is hopelessly in love with the perfect woman, but she won't have him for whatever reason. His unrequited love makes him crazy and he often visits a prostitute or a "naachnewaali." His love is so palpable and over-the-top that the prostitute cannot help but love him. She is his shoulder to cry on; she nurses his broken heart. But she'll never have him. She knows she's just a whore. Her quiet love goes unrecognized and the hero returns to his first, true love.

10.  The "Elope to Paradise" Rule: Our lead actors are a veritable Romeo and Juliet. Their families are arch enemies, or their fathers' egos are too big for them to get married. So they elope, usually aided by their best friends. They easily find an abandoned temple or a dilapidated house that they make over and live happily in, without a care in the world. They don't need jobs, or needn't worry about bills. Love will keep them alive.

Feeling: moody
Listening to: Bachna Ae Haseeno - Kishor Kumar

This can be a quick one. Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen books you've read that will always stick with you. First fifteen you can recall in no more than 15 minutes.

1. To Kill a Mockingbird
2. The Shadow Lines
3. Catcher in the Rye
4. The Color Purple
5. Beloved
6. Their Eyes Were Watching God
7. Native Son
8. The White Hotel
9. The God of Small Things
10. Inner Courtyard
11. The Women of Brewster Place
12. Jane Eyre
13. Wuthering Heights
14. Possession
15. The Hours

Feeling: tired

I'm planning to burn an mp3 CD for my father with the best of latest Hindi songs. I want to focus on the last 10 years, since he has plenty of really old songs and whoever heard any good Hindi music in the 70's and 80's? (just kidding!)

So help a girl out... If you were to burn a CD like that, what songs/movies would be your top picks? I have the likes of Omkara, Rang De Basanti, just to give you an idea of what I'm thinking...

Thanks!

Feeling: curious

Comment to this and I'll list five things that come to mind when I think of you. Then post in your LJ with elaborations on the subjects given.

I volunteered and these are the five things that come to newwaytowrite's mind, when she thinks of me

1. Creating Community: I am not a person who enjoys crowds. I am much more comfortable when I am in a small gathering of close friends. One of the reasons I hate parties is that I cannot be a social butterfly and schmooze. I love to meet people on a one-on-one basis and really get to know them. That being said, my small group of friends (which is now spread across several countries) is my community of people. I tend to be the one who brings people together, creates ways to get people to meet. I love to be the bond that everyone shares, and sometimes the reason people meet. Often times, although I'm the main reason people meet, I'll melt away in the sidelines, and that's not so bad.

2. Respect: Although I might not say it enough, I am awed by life and every single aspect of it. Knowingly and unknowingly, I cherish every little moment I live. Also, I don't think any job in life is small. I have deference for the smallest little things that we do - from teachers to thrash collectors, from mail delivery people to scientists, from students to the cashiers at department stores - I admire and respect every person for what they do. I strongly believe that all kinds of people make life worth living.

3. Birthdays: Every year is different for me, as far as birthdays are concerned. I am at times indifferent to them, and there are years when I am obsessed with my birthday. Nevertheless, I love presents. And I'm not sure whether I like receiving them or giving them. I am terribly excited by the thought of giving gifts. I put a lot of effort and thought in the gifts I give. And I love the fraction of a moment before I see a friend tear open a gift.

4. Childhood friends: My biggest regret in life is that I don't have a single friend who has known me since I was an itty-bitty one. Some of my closest friends know me since I was maybe 12-13, but not younger. I have a handful of friends now, whom I've known since school, and I love them dearly. If I could go back in time, I'd definitely retain some friendships or make new friends.

5. Literacy: My life has been extremely rewarding ever since I started to teach. I used to have a roll-up blackboard when I was in school, and I'd hold a make-believe class there every afternoon. The practice I had with imaginary students back then paid off. A performer lies somewhere deep down inside me, and she is satiated when I stand in front of a class and teach. No amount of feedback will ever convince me of how good a teacher I am, but if there's one thing I want to pass on to my students, it's the passion to learn and to never stop learning. I'd be happy if I was able to do that.
~~~~~

Feeling: thirsty
Listening to: Dead Already - Thomas Newman

o The words on the page,
Scrambling like angry ants.
Somehow they make sense

o I could care less, now
that you’ve told me you love me.
I'll always hate me.

o I feign my laughter.
I pretend to enjoy you.
I think I’m better.

o Your petty joys are
So disgusting, I won’t tell.
I’ll let you day dream.

© Sampada Chavan, 2009

Tags: haiku, poetry
Feeling: sleepy

Growing up I mostly hated all the green, leafy vegetables. I would find all of them tasteless and boring. I prefered eating dishes made out of cereals instead. Moog, matki, safed vatana, chauli,etc. were the best. But amongst them, my favorite was valachi usal. My mother didn't have to think twice about what she had to make for my birthday. I'd be happy with this one. Ever since I've moved to the US, I've rarely made this at home, mostly because it's a pain to remember to soak the seeds well in advance, and I generally decide what to make for dinner in the morning. But this week, I was very meticulous and I soaked the seeds a few days ago, waited for them to sprout and soaked them again to make it easier to skin them.

This morning I finally made the usal!

( Take a look! )

Tags: food
Feeling: chipper
Listening to: to the radio

... I prefer mulling over the past than planning for the future.

... I like the color red, and not pink.

... I dance when no one's watching, and sing when I have an indulgent audience.

... I never really grew up.

... I hang on to memories, but throw away mementos.




Tell me five things I'd know about you, if I knew you well.

Tags: just because
Feeling: bored
Listening to: Gives you hell - The All-American Rejects

I will not miss 2008, but it will stay etched in my conscience for a while to come, unfortunately for more bad reasons than good. As I reflect upon the year past, I wonder if I have used my time well. So though I hopefully look towards 2009, I do want to make a note of some of the silly/nice/good things I learned in 2008.

January: It is better to play Cranium when you're tipsy than sober.

February: You need to keep the vacuum cleaner clean, in order for it to keep your house clean.

March: I can give kick-ass gifts. (Gave Rajith a 200mm lens.)

April: A conversation with a friendly lit. professor can give me a sublime high.

May: Going back to India is just not as much fun if all your friends are too busy to meet you.

June: Christian/church weddings are as romantic as they seem in the movies.

July: I can cook Cajun, Malayalee, Italian cuisines.

August: My friends love me more than I give them credit.

September: A hurricane is one of the scariest things one can experience.

October: "Failure is an event, never a person."

November: I can love sushi!

December: There are times when I can be superstitious.

How was your 2008?

Tags: life
Feeling: pensive
Listening to: Mausam & Escape - A R Rahman